It still knocks the breath out of me. It still feels like someone it ripping out my guts. How can he really be gone? This can't be real. Why won't someone just wake me up already. This can't be it. This can't be how it ends. Sometimes I feel like screaming, "Oh my god, just get a freaking grip," at myself! Other people's fathers might die, but mine doesn't. Does he? How can superman die? Do I seriously have to live the rest of my life without you? What am I suppose to do when I have questions? Who do I ask when I want to buy a new car or when I have a major decision to make. Who do I ask?
Do you know that I know what you meant when you told me to "grow old?" I think about that so much. If I could talk to you one last time, I would tell you that I know what you meant. I know that I was confused at the time and that frustrated you, but I know. I do know what you meant, and I want so badly to tell you. I asked God to let you know, but I'm not sure if it works that way. I'm not sure that he is a messenger service.
I am getting my Bachelor's degree. I have dreams and goals. I have a big vision for my life. I am going to live. I am going to have fun and relax. I am going to focus and get my career where going in the direction in which I want it to go. I am going to achieve the goals that I have set. I am going to "grow old."
I hope you know. It bothers me a lot. I miss you.
Love,
Your Wunkus
No comments:
Post a Comment